I want to remind you folks that it is the behavior of the addict, not the drugs or alcohol, per se, that is intolerable.
When Uncle Tim raises a glass of champagne at his niece’s wedding and toasts to the couple, we do not find this in the least disturbing. When Uncle Tim downs glass after glass after glass, starts to slur and falls down, hits on the woman sitting next to him (who is not his wife) and then gets in a fight spoiling the wedding, then Houston we have a problem. When moderation turns to excessive, it is usually accompanied by what we consider to be ‘bad’ behavior, and looking at the damage report is one way I gauge the severity of the problem.
It has always been my goal to guide addicts toward transparent and honest behavior and focus more on that, then the very drugs they take. I like them to address the following 3 things which not only bring the behavior into focus, but will help to re-gain trust which most have lost along the way;
Deleting the sneaky ways– if there is no hidden agenda why sneak?
Do not steal– you claim you only stole to get drugs, so now live up to it
Work through relapse– relapse is not a guarantee, but it is still likely to happen, so you need a team or advocate to address it with you if it happens, because ignoring it or trying to pretend it didn’t happen, doesn’t help you move on from that stage.
And this goes for not only those in recovery but recovery workers and facility owners as well, (who sometimes have a tendency to lapse into old ways). Conning, lying, and deceiving can all be done, drug or alcohol free, so we cannot lose sight of what this recovery thing is all about- BEHAVIOR!!
Madeleine Herron