The more I work in recovery – and the more I think about what actually helps people sustain change – the more I come back to one idea: recovery is a lifestyle. Treatment can give us knowledge, tools, insight, and support, but ultimately recovery has to live in the ordinary hours of an ordinary day. It is reflected in how we wake up, what we eat, how we handle stress, what we do with our free time, who we spend time with, how we move our bodies, where we find meaning, and what we choose to do when life becomes uncomfortable.

For some people, recovery can begin to feel like an endurance test: Just get through today. Don’t use. Make- it until tomorrow. There can certainly be value in taking life one day at a time, particularly when looking too far ahead feels overwhelming. But I don’t want recovery to become white-knuckling our way through one day after another, relying primarily on willpower and self-control while anxiety, cravings, boredom, or emotional activation continue underneath.  we ask the question:

How do we build a life in which regulation, connection, enjoyment, purpose, and healthy choices become increasingly natural parts of the day?

One of the people that has been a strong influencer of mine in all things mind and body, is Dr. Mario Martinez, who uses the phrase “repetition makes relevance.” I find that concept right on target for recovery: What we repeatedly practice begins to take on greater relevance in our lives. A healthy choice made once is an event. A healthy choice repeated becomes a pattern. Over time, patterns become routines, routines begin shaping lifestyle, and lifestyle can begin influencing how we see ourselves. That might mean taking a mindful walk with the dog every morning. It might mean planning meals on Sunday, cooking with your partner, working in the garden, painting at the kitchen table, exercising, volunteering, visiting a farmers market, spending time with animals, reading, taking a class, or working on a home project. None of these activities by itself is recovery. Together, however, they can help create a life that supports recovery.

This distinction is important within holistic addiction recovery and addiction aftercare. There is a difference between controlling ourselves through every difficult moment and developing ways to regulate ourselves through those moments.

That is why nervous system regulation for addiction recovery is such an important part of our philosophy. EFT tapping, breathing, grounding, mindfulness, movement, appropriate nutrition, creative activities, time in nature, healthy relationships, and other mind-body practices can give us constructive ways to respond when we notice ourselves becoming activated. The goal isn’t to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling. That’s not realistic. The goal is to develop more choices about what we do next. That is psychological agency.

What Are We Adding to Our Lives?

Recovery conversations understandably spend a great deal of time discussing what needs to stop. But I think we also need to ask: What are we adding? What are you looking forward to this weekend? What activity makes you lose track of time? Where do you experience connection? What gives you a sense of accomplishment? What makes your body feel better? Where do you find peace or spiritual meaning? What are you learning? Who are you helping?

When we begin asking those questions, recovery becomes larger than abstinence. It becomes the process of evolving our lives.

That’s why we created the Recovery Is a Lifestyle series. Each blog will explore practical ways to enrich everyday life – not simply activities to keep someone busy, but experiences that can serve two, three, or sometimes several purposes at once. We will look for activities that offer one or more of these eight elements: Enjoyment. Regulation. Accomplishment. Connection. Service. Creativity. Physical Health. Spiritual Meaning.

Cooking together can provide nutrition, creativity, accomplishment, and connection. Gardening can offer movement, time outdoors, responsibility, mindfulness, and the satisfaction of watching something grow. Painting can provide creativity, focused attention, connection, and sometimes unexpected stillness. Spending time with horses or other animals can offer connection, responsibility, nature, and opportunities for calm, present-moment awareness. A farmers market can become more than grocery shopping. A home project can become more than fixing something. A walk can become more than exercise. The activity may be simple. What matters is what we’re building around it.

There isn’t one correct recovery lifestyle. Some people love hiking. Someone else would rather cook. One person finds meaning in volunteering. Another finds it in painting, gardening, animals, music, faith, meditation, family, exercise, or learning something completely new. That’s the point. Your recovery lifestyle should eventually begin to look like your life, and I am simply  providing you with ideas – possibilities that individuals, couples, families, and recovery communities can adapt to their own interests. Try something and see how you feel. Keep what adds something meaningful to your life and then maybe try something else, and keep evolving.

One day at a time” can help us bring our attention back to the present. But living one day at a time doesn’t mean that each day should simply be survived. We can build something inside that day. A meal. A painting. A garden. A relationship. A healthier body. A new skill. A spiritual practice. A connection with an  animal. An act of service. A memory. And tomorrow, we get another opportunity to build. That is the philosophy behind this series and increasingly the way we think about integrative addiction recovery at Mind Body Recovery. Recovery isn’t only about exercising enough willpower to avoid returning to an old life. It’s about creating a new life that becomes increasingly worth participating in.

Recovery Is a Lifestyle.

Regulation Before Action.

Agency Before Abstinence(TM).

Ancient Wisdom, Modern Sobriety(TM).

MindBodyRecovery.net